


I Feel Loved

by stjaninaro



Category: Depeche Mode
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:55:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjaninaro/pseuds/stjaninaro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan has a bit of an accident and Dave is there to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Feel Loved

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LiveJournal in May 2011.  
> Unbetaed.

***   
  
“Fucking useless piece of junk!”  
  
Alan roughly jabbed his fingers against the buttons again, growling in frustration as the display briefly flashed before going blank. The keyboard had been acting up all day; loading the wrong samples, assigning them to the wrong keys, playing them in the wrong pitch -before it eventually started to die.  
  
Rubbing his hands over his face, Alan pinched the bridge of his nose. He breathed out slowly, trying to reign in his rapidly fraying temper, and reached over the troublesome machine to turn the switch to off. He waited a second and flicked it to on again, hoping that this time it would behave.  
  
It didn’t.  
  
“Right,” he growled. “That’s it you little bastard.”  
  
Wrapping an arm around the keyboard, he lifted it, staggering slightly under its weight, and knelt down, placing it on the floor with significantly less care than he should have. Glancing around the room he spotted Gareth’s tiny leather-wrapped tool kit poking out of a drawer beside the mixing desk. He quickly retrieved it and returned to the synth.  
  
He pulled open the Velcro fastening and rolled out the leather pouch flat on the ground beside him. Plucking out a screwdriver, he bit his lip, testing it on one of the screws holding the base of the keyboard in place. It was too big, so he replaced it, choosing the slightly smaller one beside it. This one fit, and he smirked.  
  
“Now I’ve got you, you little bugger,” he cackled as he set about dismantling the machine. It really had been nothing but a headache since the day he’d bought it. He’d even brought it to a professional to have a look at it, but of course, once the bloke had plugged it in it behaved perfectly. Alan had watched with increasing ire as the repairman had played up and down the keys, loaded in new samples, and finally –the proverbial straw across the camel’s back –proceeded to play Master & Servant perfectly. Alan had been forced to leave the shop feeling completely humiliated, his face flushed dark red with rage.  
  
The last screw came out and Alan placed it carefully in the small pile of its brothers. Dropping the screwdriver, he gently eased the casing away from the main body of the keyboard, careful not to jar any of the connections, or tear the important ribbons. He placed it on the floor, unhooking the main ribbon connecting the two pieces.  
  
He was faced with a huge array of wires. There were hundreds of them, all connecting something important to something else that was equally as important. Alan raised an eyebrow, slightly daunted by the sight. This wasn’t the first time he’d been forced to take apart a synth, but this one easily dwarfed all the other ones in terms of complexity.  
  
Picking up the screwdriver, he paused for a moment, before jabbing at where a green coloured wire disappeared into a clear plastic casing. Nothing happened and he frowned. Holding the screwdriver tightly in his fist, he leaned over the machine, closely examining everything involved in making it worked. It truly was a marvel, and he was impressed, but he’d be even more impressed it the bloody thing would only work when he told it too. At the moment it seemed to think it belonged to a union, demanding two days off a week and regular tea breaks!  
  
***  
  
Dave whistled quietly as he pushed open the heavy front door and ascended the impressive staircase of Hansa studios. He loved walking in here every afternoon, loved the faded opulence of these hallowed walls, the sound of his footsteps echoing off the floor as he strode through the halls. He’d seen how Alan’s eyes had lit up the first time they’d come here, the way his hands trembled as he tentatively touched every surface and knob in the control room. He looked as if he had found his own personal heaven, and Dave was only hazily aware of Alan’s reaction tainting his own. Without Alan this would probably be just another building to him, but it wasn’t, it was special.  
  
He bypassed the control room, wanting the relative peace of the live room for a while. He’d just got off the phone with Jo before coming here, and he needed the empty space to think. Dave sat down on the piano bench, absentmindedly lifting the lid to reveal the black and white keys. He didn’t play but he trailed his fingers lightly over the keys before sighing heavily and closing the lid again, resting his elbow on the polished wood as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes.  
  
She’d finally done it, given him an ultimatum; come home this weekend, or don’t come home at all. He could admit to himself that he’d been avoiding her, not wanting to face what he now knew had always been the inevitable. He’d loved her at some point, really and truly loved her, but not now. Their relationship had been fracturing for a long time, and Dave had seen this and done nothing. What was the point? She wasn’t what he needed anymore.  
  
“Aha!”  
  
The loud shout from the control room drew his attention, breaking him from his depressing thoughts. He slipped off the bench and walked over to the window, peering through it with a curious expression.  
  
He blinked as he was suddenly faced with Alan’s leather-encased backside, gently swaying from side to side right in front of his eyes. His mouth went dry.   
  
  
‘There!’ Alan thought. One of the little plastic things –a Molex connector, Alan seemed to remember Gareth calling them, was looking a little off colour. He peered closer, following the wires that protruded from it and ending up lying on the floor looking up at the upside down view of the floppy drive. He sniffed. That was the problem alright.   
  
“Damn things burned right out,” he muttered as he righted himself. Huffing quietly he jabbed at it pointlessly with the screwdriver. “Fan-bloody-tastic.”  
  
BANG!  
  
Alan flew backwards through the air, landing heavily on his side. His fingers and legs were still twitching slightly from the electrical surge that had rushed through them when he’d touched the burned out wires with the tip of the screwdriver. The  _live_ wires.  
  
Dave was by his side in seconds. He’d watched in horror as Alan had gone stiff as a board for a few seconds before the force of the electricity had sent him flying.   
  
“Charlie!”  
  
Nudging the screwdriver away from Alan’s outstretched palm with the sole of his boot, Dave hesitated only a second before placing his hand on Alan’s chest. He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief as he felt the strong beat of Alan’s heart, his fist clenching in the soft cotton of his shirt.  
  
“Damn it Charlie,” he swore. “What the fuck were you thinking?!”  
  
There was no answer, Alan was still out cold, and Dave bit his lip as his hand slowly moved up over his chest, his finger tenderly stroking the defined cheekbones and coming to rest close to Alan’s mouth. He swallowed hard and repeated the motion, the softness of Alan’s skin surprising him. His heart was pounding, from fear and something else that Dave didn’t care to put a name to.  
  
Alan groaned quietly and shifted, leaning into the touch. Dave pulled back as if he had been the one shocked, holding his breath as he waited to see whether Alan would wake. He didn’t.  
  
Tugging off his jacket, Dave looked around the room and groaned. “Oh for fuck sake, Charlie. You didn’t even plug the bloody thing out? What kind of a dumb twat are you?”  
  
Dave looked back to his stricken friend, annoyance quickly fading as he took in the pale face, full lips gently parted, and that nose. That arrogant, arrogant nose that Dave had so often seen curled up in disgust or scrunched up with devilish laughter.   
  
He finished pulling off his jacket and bunched it up into a makeshift pillow, gently lifting Alan’s head and sliding it underneath. He couldn’t resist the urge to run his fingers over Alan’s cheek again, and he did so, his own eyes fluttering shut at the sensation. He gasped as his thumb brushed Alan’s lips and he leaned forward. His eyes opened a crack and before he could talk himself out of it he pressed a kiss to the very tip of Alan’s nose, barely touching him.   
  
The effect was electric.  
  
Alan’s body stiffened beneath him and Dave froze, his wide gaze slowly moving up to meet Alan’s very blue, and very open, eyes.  
  
“Al?” He breathed, too stunned to pull away as he knew he should. In all honesty, the thought never entered his mind, too caught up in the brilliance of Alan’s features, and the relief at seeing him awake.  
  
“Dave?” Alan croaked, his stare glassy and unfocussed.  
  
“I’m here, Charlie,” Dave whispered. “You’re alright.”  
  
Alan blinked slowly, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to get his vision to stop blurring. He lifted a shaky hand to his face, intending to rub at his eyes, and stopped, staring at the round burn mark in the centre of his palm.  
  
“Dave, what happened?” He asked, his voice still hoarse. He coughed weakly, his eyes flicking between Dave and his injured hand.  
  
“You got a bit of an electric shock,” Dave replied quietly, taking Alan’s hand in his and stroking his thumb tenderly over the burn. Alan quivered at the touch, his breath hitching.   
  
He gasped suddenly, his eyes flying wide open. “Dave! Dave, I can’t... I can’t feel anything. Everything’s numb. Dave!”  
  
“Whoa, slow down, Charlie, just breathe. You’re gonna be ok, I promise,” Dave tightened his grip on Alan’s hand, squeezing hard as he fought to break through Alan’s panic. “It’s just from the shock, Charlie. Now I need you to calm down for me, can you do that?”  
  
“N-no,” he stammered, tears pooling unbidden in the corners of his eyes as his breath quickened to an unbearable level. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get enough oxygen to his lungs. He reached out blindly and Dave grabbed his other hand in his. “D-Dave what if I can’t ever use my hands again?”  
  
“You will. Look, I’m holding them right now, can you feel me?” He tightened his grip even further, digging his fingernails into Alan’s soft flesh. He exhaled a quiet sigh of relief as he saw Alan flinch. “There see? You’ll be fine.”  
  
“But everything else..?”   
  
“The feeling will come back Charlie, you have to trust me.”  
  
Alan turned wide, feverish eyes on his friend, his hand trembling as he slipped it from Dave’s hold, raising it to his face. His head tilted to the side, almost drunkenly, as he regarded Dave’s face hovering above his own.  
  
“Your eyes...” he whispered, only barely aware of what he was saying. He shook his head, seemingly clearing it somewhat. “Dave? Dave, help me. Help me feel. Show me it will come back, please.”  
  
“Ok,” Dave frowned in confusion. “How do you want me to do that?”  
  
“Touch me, touch me like you did with my hands. Make me feel again Dave. It’s been so long...”  
  
Dave looked at him sharply. Something in Alan’s vacant, glassy stare, the unspoken pain in his voice hinted at something Dave obviously aware of. Alan’s hidden suffering. He frowned, fury building inside him at whoever had done this unspeakable thing to his friend. He opened his mouth to question him just as Alan’s eyes slipped closed and he arched up against Dave’s body, brushing against him.  
  
“Dave, please,” he begged, whimpering as Dave failed to do as he asked. “ _Please_ , touch me.”  
  
So Dave did, tentatively trailing his fingers over Alan’s cheek, dipping into the hollow of his throat, the hint of his chest visible through the open buttons of his shirt. Alan’s eyes fell closed as he tilted his head back, baring his throat to Dave’s ministrations.   
  
A quiet moan escaped his lips and suddenly it all became clear to Dave. Alan wanted this, wanted  _him_ , to  _touch_  him.  
  
He gasped loudly, his hand pausing just above Alan’s heart. He could feel it beating beneath his palm, quick and erratic. “Charlie?” He breathed, licking his lips.  
  
Alan reached blindly for the hand that was supporting Dave as he leaned over him. He tugged at it and Dave lost his balance, crashing down onto his friend, their chests pressing firmly together, not a hair’s breadth between their bodies at any point. Dave groaned at the heat radiating from Alan’s skin, blood pooling in one significant part of his anatomy as he struggled to organise his suddenly scattered thoughts.  
  
“Dave,” Alan murmured, right into his ear. “ _Please_.” And with that he reached up, pressing his mouth firmly against Dave’s, parting his lips and sliding his tongue into the hot, wet depths.  
  
Dave shuddered at the unexpected move, kissing him back without a seconds hesitation. Alan tasted of stale coffee and tobacco, the result of too many long hours in the studio and not enough in the hotel. Dave made a silent note to himself to make sure he changed that before his mind went blank and he was sliding his hands into Alan’s hair, greedily taking control of the kiss and plundering his mouth.  
  
With one hand Dave held Alan’s head still, tilted to one side to allow him to take what he needed. He kissed him with an open-mouthed enthusiasm he’d lost somewhere in his time with Jo.  _This_ was passion; this was what kissing, and fucking, and  _sex_ , was supposed to be like.  
  
His other hand trailed down and over Alan’s chest, stopping to pinch ruthlessly at a nipple through his thin shirt. Alan gasped, and moaned loudly, arching upwards. His hands were tightly wrapped around Dave’s back, fingernails –sharper than Dave had been expecting –cut into his shoulderblades and were dragged along his spine. He shivered in response, releasing Alan’s nipple in order to unbutton his shirt. He quickly lost patience, soon releasing the buttons opened much faster if he simply pulled at them, ripping the shirt right open.  
  
Alan breathed in sharply as the cool air hit his bare chest, a sharp contrast to the hot tongue that was instantly on it, drawing erotic patterns on his skin. He whimpered from deep down in his throat, shuddering under Dave’s ministrations. “Fuck, Dave... So fucking good.”  
  
Dave closed his eyes, concentrating fully on suckling at Alan’s exposed nipple, teasing it to hardness with quick flicks of his tongue before sucking hard until it turned a deep, red colour. He moved to the other nipple, giving it the same attention, and switched to pinching at them, leaving his mouth free to wander further south.  
  
He kissed and licked his way down Alan’s torso, tongue dipping into his belly button and making Alan squirm. Dave rubbed his nose against his abdomen, inhaling deeply the musky scent of his best mate, the light dusting of hair leading to the treasure below tickling his nose and making his mouth water. He glanced up, waiting for Alan to give him permission to go further.  
  
Alan took a deep breath and nodded, unable to form even the most basic of thoughts as Dave’s hand began to rub him through his jeans.   
  
Dave groaned at the hardness beneath his palm. Alan was so hot, and throbbing under him,  _for him_. With a low moan he flicked open the button, pulling down the zip and shoving them as far down Alan’s thighs as he could manage without putting any space between them.   
  
Alan’s long cock sprang out, its stiff length pointing straight up towards his stomach. There was a thick, pearlescent droplet of precum gathering at the top and Dave couldn’t resist running his finger through it, raising it to his lips and sucking it down his first taste of Alan.   
  
He slowly and deliberately wrapped his hand around him, grinning as he felt it flex in his grip slightly, the steady ooze of Alan’s juices becoming a stream as he struggled to keep his hips from thrusting up into Dave’s hands.  
  
“Oh Charlie,” Dave whispered, eyes wide as he stared at Alan’s red, aching cock slipped through his fingers. “Your cock... Fuck, it’s perfect. I have to... I have to...” His hand was moving faster now, almost a blur of motion, and Alan had a death-grip on his shoulders, his moans growing higher in pitch as Dave stroked him faster and harder.  
  
“I can’t wait any more, Charlie,” Dave said desperately, shuffling backwards to take Alan into his mouth.  
  
“Don’t,” Alan whimpered, fingers clawing at Dave’s hair.  
  
“Don’t?” Dave looked up at him from beneath his fringe, an eyebrow raised. “You sure ‘bout that Charlie? Sure you don’t want it?”  
  
Alan glanced down and quickly shut his eyes, groaning at the sight of Dave’s flushed, full lips hovering inches above his stiff, aching length. “Oh god,” he moaned, “No, don’t... Just... Fuck...  _Please_!”  
  
“Ok,” Dave said. He moved to crawl back up over Alan’s body, pausing with a wicked twinkle in his eye. He bent his head down, licking a long, slow stripe along the underside of Alan’s cock, pressing a kiss to it when he came to the head. Alan moaned loudly, bucking his hips, and Dave pilled away, a devilish smirk on his face. “Have it your way.”  
  
Alan growled in frustration, roughly tugging him back up by his hair. He forced his tongue between Dave’s smiling lips, taking his mouth in an all encompassing kiss that was almost feral in its intensity. He mauled him, his tongue licking the roof of his mouth, the back of his teeth, roughly entwining with Dave’s own and luring it back into his own mouth. Dave chased him, pressing him even harder into the floor and sucking his bottom lip between his teeth.  
  
Dave allowed Alan to tug him down on top of him, their sweat-slick chests gliding against each other. He rested their foreheads together for a moment, watching breathlessly as Alan’s eyes slid closed, his mouth wide open and gasping for air. He slithered a hand down Alan’s chest, pinching a nipple roughly between his fingers, and twisted it.  
  
The sound Alan released at the sensation was so erotic, so  _debauched_ , that before he even realized what he was doing, Dave was reaching down, desperately ripping open his jeans and tugging them down his legs. He kicked them away, grabbing Alan’s ankles and pulling them off his back. Wrenching off his boxers and jeans the rest of the way, he forced Alan’s legs up and wide apart, draping them over his shoulders as he leaned over him again. The new angle of their throbbing, leaking cocks slipping and sliding against each other had them gasping in seconds.  
  
Alan reached up, tangling his fingers in Dave’s hair again, and yanking him down to his mouth. The force with which he demanded Dave’s kiss was shocking. His legs were now trapped between them, bent nearly to his ears, and the ache in his spine was glorious. He’d never felt anything like it before, and all he could think about was Dave pounding into him, forcing him to scream his name.   
  
“Fuck Charlie,” Dave panted. “Need to... I need you.”  
  
“Do it!” Alan said breathlessly, fixing him with a dark stare.  
  
“Are you sure?” Dave asked, chest heaving with anticipation and nerves. He groaned at Alan’s almost violent nod, the man writhing and bucking beneath him almost as if he’d been possessed. He propped himself up on one elbow, raising his other hand to his mouth and sucking in two fingers. He blinked in surprise as Alan knocked his hand away, tugging it lower and lower until it rested just at the juncture of his thighs.  
  
“No time,” Alan replied to the unspoken query. “Need to feel you  _now_.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Now, Dave! Please, just... please. Fuck me.”  
  
Dave still hesitated, not wanting to cause him any pain and knowing from stories and hear say that the first time was invariably going to be the most uncomfortable.   
  
Alan growled. “Oh fuck, fuck it! That’s enough Dave, fuck me now! Stick your cock in me and fuck me ragged!’’ He cried, rocking himself against Dave’s hard length which was leaving a wet trail across his thighs.  
  
The sheer need in his voice broke Dave’s resolve. He lunged forwards, taking Alan’s lips in a vicious kiss as his fingers collected the fluid from the tip of his dick, using it to coat his rather substantial erection. He took a deep breath as he lined himself up with Alan’s entrance, watching mesmerised as the flesh slowly parted to let him in. Dave pushed in a little further, and that was it -he felt like he was being  _pulled_ into Alan’s body, like Alan was sucking him in, the sensation like nothing he had ever felt before.  
  
“Oh fucking Jesus. Christ!” He stammered as he pushed himself in inch by inch, Alan’s body doing the rest of the work for him. He was so tight, and so hot, that for a second Dave thought he would pass out.  
  
Alan cried out loudly, his voice high pitched as Dave breached him, feeling the soft tickle of Dave’s pubic hair as he slowly filled him.   
  
“You ok?” Dave managed to choke out, grabbing onto Alan’s hips seemingly for dear life.   
  
Alan could feel Dave’s body trembling almost violently against his own. “It hurts…” He whimpered, all the while bucking against Dave, trying to take more of him, trying to push the limits.  
  
“Do you want me to stop?” Dave panted.  
  
“No…fuck, no. More!’’ Alan demanded. ‘’Grind into me… Fuck!”  
  
Dave did as Alan asked, circling his hips, grinding himself impossibly deep into him, hitting his prostate with every rotation.  
  
Getting used to the feeling of Dave’s huge cock filling his arse Alan tentatively clenched his muscles, causing Dave to gasp and close his eyes, fighting with himself as he tried to wait for Alan’s body to loosen enough for him to move. Alan tugged at his shoulder, bucking his hips in encouragement. Dave smiled down at him, taking a moment to stroke his cheek with his thumb. Alan’s eyes slipped closed and when he opened them again, the bright smile in them told Dave he was ready.  
  
He pulled back and thrust himself in, impossibly deep. When Alan cried out, he did it again, his pace growing faster and more frenzied with every thrust. Soon, Dave was crying out  _with_ Alan, the sensation almost unbearable, and he reached down with a shaking hand to fist Alan’s eager cock.  
  
“Want us to come…together,” Dave explained, panting, and Alan nodded his head furiously, his chest heaving with the mind-blowing sensation of Dave’s huge dick inside him, thrust after perfect thrust making his eyes water.  
  
“Faster!” Alan urged, and Dave ploughed into him relentlessly, his resolve shattered. It only took a few more thrusts before he felt Dave tense, and knew he was about to come.  
  
“Kiss me when you come,” Alan groaned, and that was it. Dave leant down and pressed their lips together bruisingly, as Alan arched his back, coming hot and hard over Dave’s slick fingers, crying out into his mouth. Seconds later, Dave erupted deep inside Alan, his groans mingling with Alan’s own as he flooded him with his hot juices.  
  
Dave collapsed forward onto Alan’s chest. Their lips never parted for a second, pressing together in short, desperate kisses as they panted through their orgasms. When Dave had regained his breath he pulled away, just enough to shuffle down and rest his head against Alan’s still heaving chest whilst still keeping his softening cock embedded inside Alan’s now pliant body. They lay there in silence for a long while, until Dave heard Alan speak, his voice so quiet he almost missed it.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“What for?” Dave replied, equally quietly, not moving his head from its position above Alan’s heart. The strong, steady beats were calming the sudden onset of anxiety he was suffering, wondering what this meant for the future of their friendship.  
  
There was a brief pause before Alan answered, but what he said soothed all of Dave’s fears. He raised his head, catching Alan’s lips in a sweet, tender kiss that said all that needed saying without words.  
  
THE END.


End file.
